college football preview, week 12

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7 ohio st @ 23 michigan - 12 pm
the rumors are swirling that lloyd carr will announce his resignation (read: quitting before he gets fired so he can save face) after this game. so that makes it all the more difficult to predict. the wolverine seniors have never beaten ohio state, and they are also very loyal to carr. so they'll be inspired for two reasons. on the other side of the ball, jim tressel has only lost once to michigan in 5 games. the key will be whether or not the buckeyes suffer a hangover after their embarrassing loss to illinois last week. i expect michigan to fall behind early and then for mike hart to take the game into his hands and will his team to victory. then michigan goes to the rose bowl and loses. again.
the pick: x-mens

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22 kentucky @ 8 georgia - 12:30
i've never seen a team benefit more from a butt-beating than georgia has this season. they have morphed into a completely different team since that debacle in knoxville a month and a half ago. this is probably as confident a team as mark richt has ever had. i expect them to keep the pressure on tennesse this week and avenge their loss to kentucky a year ago. running back knowshon moreno will continue to tear through opposing defenses like indian food through a white man's intestines.
the pick: dawgs

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6 missouri @ kansas st - 12:30
i'm guessing that the kansas state defensive unit is not the most confident group right now after giving up 70+ points to a backup-qb led nebraska team. their only chance in this game is if they catch missouri looking ahead to next week's game vs. kansas, which will decide the big 12 north. i think mizzou avoids the "trap" and wins by at least 2 touchdowns.
the pick: tiggers

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byu @ wyoming - 2:00
somewhat quietly, byu can clinch at least a tie of the mountain west this week with a win over the hapless cowboys. byu will be inspired by the news that john beck will start this week for the dolphins and they'll beat down a wyoming team whose season is on the brink.
the pick: cougars

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vanderbilt @ 19 tennessee - 2:00
the last time tennessee played vanderbilt at home, jay cutler led a 4th quarter comeback for the commodores for their first win in knoxville in like 20 years. but now cutler is too busy stinking it up for the broncos and hurting certain people's fantasy teams. advantage: tennessee.
the pick: vols

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mississippi st. @ arkansas - 2:00
sylvester croom has won two conference road games for the first time in his life. somewhat amazingly, he's got his team playing some decent football, at least on the defensive side of the ball. the bulldog's 3-3 conference record is somewhat deceiving, though, as all of their conference wins came after their opponent had lost a very tough game the previous week. fortunately for them, arkansas has been on a constant letdown all season.
the pick: bulldogs

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duke @ notre dame - 2:30
this is already the worst season in the history of notre dame football. and yet, it can get even worse this week. i can't really overstate how bad both of these teams are right now. two questions i've been wondering are will notre dame fans even get loud for this game? and what does your program even gain by scheduling duke? jimmy clausen did show some improvement last week vs. undersized slow white men. take that for what it's worth. to martin scorcese's dismay, the irish barely escape a beating.
the pick: notre dame (i will be rooting for duke)

dang. i was in a mood to beat some irish

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miami @ 10 va tech - 3:30
there was a time when, every year, this game was a battle of top 10 teams and would decide the big east champ. now it's a shell of its former self, though va tech is actually playing really good football right now. they will not lose to a team that just allowed 40+ points to virginia in a sport other than basketball.
the pick: gobblers

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1 lsu @ ole miss - 3:30
perhaps you are thinking that, given the rumors of lloyd carr's departure from michigan, that les miles will be distracted this week, and that lsu might get upset. if you think this, then clearly, you do not understand the futility that is ole piss football.
the pick: tigers

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iowa st @ 4 kansas - 3:30
iowa state is awful. if kansas blows this game, they should drop out of the top 25 entirely.
the pick: jayhawks

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5 w. virginia @ 21 cincinnati - 7:45
as far as i'm concerned, this is the game of the day. west virginia played way too close with louisville last week. cincinnati thoroughly thumped connecticut without looking ahead to this week's clearly bigger game. as i mentioned before, the bearcats have clubbed inferior opponents all year. west virginia, of course, is not inferior, and in fact will be the most talented and fastest team cincinnati has faced this season. assuming west virginia can handle connecticut next week, this game is essentially for the big east crown. i'll be rooting for the upset, but i think the west virginia on turf will just be too fast for cincinnati.
the pick: mountaineers

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17 boston coll @ 15 clemson - 7:45
at home, at night, with a division title on the line. this is *exactly* the kind of game where a tommy bowden coached team kicks the crap out of their opponent.
the pick: clemson

Update: Regrettably, I picked Michigan simply because I wanted them to win. Not because I think they are well coached, because they're not. Nor because they have a good quarterback, because they clearly don't. I just wanted to see the big 10 champ be a team that had been defeated by a 1-AA team. That just seems appropriate. And also, I wanted to see USC take a giant dump on their heads in the Rose Bowl.