Thursday, August 30, 2007

Food Review: Grande Quesadilla, Mountain Dew Game Fuel

Taco Bell has some new funny commercials out advertising their new Grande Quesadilla. In one of them the guy in the ice cave sounds like Tobias, which automatically raises the level of comedy. Now far be it from me to criticize a great company which has brought me so much in the way of deliciousness, but the Grande Quesadilla is rather lame. It's big claim to fame is that it's made with "warm panadero bread." First of all, the word panadero is Spanish for "baker." So, it's made with baker's bread you say? I suppose next you're gonna try to tell me the crunchy taco shells are made by tacomakers, or that the lettuce is made by lettucemakers. Anyway, the bread is actually slightly different from the flatbread used in the gorditas and chalupas; it's crunchier on the outside and gummier on the inside. It's not really very good at all, and detracts from the overall goodness of what could be an otherwise fine product.
Grade: 3/10

Pepsi Co has combined forces with Microsoft to create Mountain Dew Game Fuel, the new Halo 3 inspired drink. The description, "Mountain Dew with a blast of cherry flavor," probably leaves most people thinking this is just an unoriginal repackaging of Code Red. But in fact it's a new flavor. The best way I can describe it is like a cross between cherry Kool-Aid and Pepsi Blue. It's fairly sweet, and apparently has even more caffeine than Code Red, which was already a bump in caffeine over regular Mountain Dew. I hope to see the day when I can just cut to the chase and inject it straight into my veins.
Grade: 8/10

UPDATE: My ranking on the Mountain Dew was after drinking it from a bottle. I recently bought cans and I can definitely say it knocks at least 2 points off that score. So go for the bottle. And don't let it get warm either. I mean, that should really go without saying, but if it gets warm it drops to like a 3 or 4.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

All the rest of the previews

I can't avoid it any longer, so here's the rest of my conference previews:

have you ever wondered how you can keep straight who's in the "atlantic" division and who's in the "coastal" division? I mean, in the case of the eastern seaboard, those two words basically mean the same thing. that's like the SEC's divisions being named "Confederate" and "Dixie." there's no real rhyme or reason to it either. some natural rivalries were maintained, others were not. but for the record, it's like this:
atlantic - boston college, clemson, florida state, maryland, nc state, wake forest
coastal - duke, georgia tech, miami, north carolina, virginia, va tech
with me preseason ranking them at #4, i'm clearly predicting big things out of va tech. but this is really a feast or famine prediction for me, i could easily see 12-1 or 8-5 out of them. florida state should be better now with a new (significantly better) offensive coordinator. i don't see a huge leap over their 7-6 record of last season, though their schedule is favorable. less than 9 wins would be a disappointment. georgia tech will be better without easily the worst 4-year starting qb in the history of the universe, but worse off without the very gifted calvin johnson. i don't see a repeat appearance in the conference title game for either them or wake forest. i actually don't even see a winning record for wake forest. how did they even make the orange bowl last year? WAKE FOREST?? i'm done talking about this conference...

we are truly talking about conference strength here. obviously they have top recruiting classes every year, but what i think really sets the sec apart from the rest is this: think of how many of their coaches you can name just right off the top of your head: urban meyer, nick saban, steve spurrier, phillip fulmer. those are just the ones that won national titles recently. you've also got tommy tuberville, mark richt, and of course don't you forget their first (and only) black coach, sylvester croom. who says integration doesn't work in the South? anyway, as for the teams, i think lsu should take the west, and fairly easily. arkansas will be good and probably make the cotton bowl, but only because of darren mcfadden, who will then be a lock top 5 pick in the nfl draft next year, and then houston nutt will cry himself to sleep every night. the east will be strong as always. expect good bowl appearances from florida, georgia, tennessee, south carolina, and probably kentucky. kentucky also probably has the conference's best qb in andre woodson. this isn't actually saying all that much though, if you think about it, because the SEC is not exactly known for QB production. if i had to pick one team to win the east i'd have to go with florida, who i'd suspect would also beat lsu in the conference title game. but they'll still probably have 2 losses and thus not play for a national title because michigan didn't lose 2 games to the likes of indiana, northwestern, purdue, etc. just for the record, if michigan or ohio state played in the sec, they'd consistently lose 3 or 4 conference games every season. i will never back down from this statement.

Big 10
speaking of poop, the big 11 will be same as it always was, michigan and ohio state strong, somebody else (this year, wisconsin) fairly strong, and the media over-rating all three. the other 8 will be fully lousy but still half will make bowls because they play for what is undoubtedly the strongest conference in college football, nay, all of organized football, in all parts of this and every other planet in the solar system. let us bow to their greatness.

Pac 10
back to conferences that can count, thanks to usc's dominance over the past 5+ years, the pac 10 is experiencing an overall conference strengthening in recruiting not unlike what florida state did for the acc back in the middle late 90's. this is still usc's conference to lose though. i'm actually having a difficult time seeing them lose at all in the regular season. the game at cal is a possibility, but even if they were to lose that, it's still very possible that cal would lose 2 conference games, meaning the trojans would likely still win the conference and have a decent shot at a national championship. cal will probably finish 2nd or 3rd, depending on how well oregon state can build on their very good season last year. ucla should improve over last year with an amazing 22 of 24 starters returning. mike stoops is doing really good things at arizona and dennis erickson has a way of turning programs around quickly, so don't be surprised if the sun devils are half-decent too. oregon will probably decline a bit, stanford is still pitiful. i'm probably forgetting some other teams but whatever let's move on, i've still got more to type.

byu is the defending champ but will slide back a little without star QB john beck. still, they will be strong, and should push tcu for the conference title. i'll give a slight edge to the frogs based on their consistently strong defense. tcu is also one to keep an eye on for the annual "who's gonna bust the cartel of greedy conferences" discussion if they can shock texas. think it's impossible (limeade)? how about this tasty lick? will i write anything about the other teams? no i will not.

they are terrible. it's sad face time for bill cosby. or maybe it's jell-o pudding pop face time, who really knows? they started 22 different true freshman last year, which is an astoundingly high number. being in the MAC probably helps them so they can share in bowl money from other teams like miami of ohio and bowling green, since temple themselves will not be going to any sort of bowl, of questionable sponsorship or otherwise, anytime within the next 45 years.

ah what the heck, i'll give you a bonus preview. there's a lot of buzz about hawaii's chances of going undefeated this season, and i've gotta agree they have a good chance. i think their only real loseable game will be vs. boise state, and i think they will lose that game. speaking of the broncos, i'm betting they'll be quite a bit better than the pollsters in general are saying. i like them to win the wac, although not to reach a BCS bowl again. no big deal though, they'll always have this:

done and done

Monday, August 27, 2007

ESPN will cram Monday Night Football down your throat and you will like it

ESPN is using the same advertising scheme to pitch Monday Night Football this year as they did last year. That is to say, showing various shots of people humming or scatting or making any other various noises with their mouths to mimic the MNF theme. Don't be fooled by the fact that this year it's real NFL players and media types that appear in these spots as opposed to last year's "everyman" ads. It's all the same crap:

Do you know how many dentists are humming the MNF theme while working on your mouth? Zero, that's how many. There are also no security guards sitting in their guard shack rocking out and whistling the MNF theme like a total dork. There are no dudes pushing one out in a stall, reaching for some t.p., audibly letting their affection for Monday nights be known. There's nobody in a cubicle propping his feet up, scatting and beboping the MNF theme while somehow completely overcome with impatience for that night's game between the Packers and Titans. And there are *most certainly* no actual NFL players lifting weights, running sprints, or doing whatever else they do, trying to get that last note just right.

As much as it may pain ESPN to hear this, Monday Night Football is simply not the franchise it once was. The fact that it moved from network TV to cable pretty much underscores that fact. No amount of endless marketing and hype and special 4-hour editions of SportsCenter will bring it back. Sunday Night in America has become the new MNF. That's where the big-name big-money broadcasters are. That's also where the corporate advertising dollars are. That's even where they have the ability to actually change what game they'll show based on potential playoff implication. And similarly, no amount of P!nk, despite how awful she is, will change this fact.

No, ESPN, people don't count down the days until Monday. People have never done this, and they never will. So let's just be realistic about this, ok? Has Loverboy taught you nothing?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Braves Cut a Man

The Braves designated Bob Wickman for assignment today. This means they now have 10 days to trade him, demote him to the minors, or outright release him. This news probably comes as a mix of both shock and relief to many Braves fans. While servicable last year, Wickman has been fairy ineffective this season. His stats probably don't appear all that bad if you're not a Braves fan, but trust me, he's let too many games get away.

One might ask, why not just remove him from the closer role, pitch him during the 7th or 8th inning, instead of cutting him? This is a fair question, and one that I asked myself. According to this article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (still probably the dumbest name for any major newspaper), Wickman had increasingly alienated himself from teammates by getting angry whenever he had to pitch in non-save situations. To me, this is even more troubling than his pitching problems, because this obviously led to some unease in the clubhouse. So basically his attitude was "pitch me in save situations or don't pitch me." And not surprisingly, Bobby Cox called his bluff, and he gonne.

Nothing personal against Wickman, but I think this will greatly help the Braves. Getting rid of a negative clubhouse presence is a justifiable move, a move made much easier given his on-field performance. Wickman is obviously past his prime; the fact that the Braves have as yet been unable to generate any trade interest in him bears that out. He actually apologized to Bobby Cox for letting the team down, which makes me respect him a lot more. He's a fierce competitor who wants to win badly, but whose frustrations were getting the best of him. Still, he's not totally unusable. I'm betting he'll land somewhere (read: Kansas City), and, who knows, maybe he can turn it around.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Top 10 Baseball Entrance Songs

The best baseball entrance songs are not necessarily the best songs in general. A good intro will create a certain atmosphere amongst the fans and be something that everyone can easily get into, yet not be retarded. My criteria were these: it must be a rock song (no rap or country here, much to the chagrin of Josh Nix and the state of Texas, respectively), song isn't being played so much on the radio that it makes me want to run over kittens, active players only (with one exception, the reason for which will be obvious), and nothing by Rush. In cases where more than one player uses a certain song, I wisely chose the best player.

1o "Killing in the Name of" Rage Against the Machine - Ryan Langerhans
9 "The Final Countdown" Europe - Manny Ramirez
8 "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" Blue Öyster Cult - Aaron Heilman
7 "Kashmir" Led Zeppelin - Chase Utley
6 "Thunderstruck" AC/DC - John Smoltz
5 "Mother" Danzig - Keith Foulke
4 "All Along the Watchtower" Jimi Hendrix - Mark Teixeira
3 "Welcome to the Jungle" Guns N' Roses - Eric Gagne
2 "Enter Sandman" Metallica - Mariano Rivera
1 "Hells Bells" AC/DC - Trevor Hoffman

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Conference Preview: Big XII

Back when the Big 12 was formed in 1994, I remember there being a hot fuss over their "pretentious use of roman numerals." I didn't know people cared that much about letters but I could sort of see their point. After all, they weren't the first of the modern super conferences, nor the first to hold an annual conference championship game (SEC). While I don't think the Big XII has ever been quite as big as it's hype, it has been home to some good football over the years. Back when it was first formed, the Huskguys were pushing people around and winning national titles. Colorado and Kansas State had pretty dominant teams, and even Iowa State and Missouri were above average. The North was clearly the stronger division for the first few years, but the balance of power began to shift toward the South in 2000 when Oklahoma was on it's way to a national title.

Here is my preview for the 2007 season, by division:

North - Braskypants is the strongest team in here. They are defending division champion and return plenty of starters. This is really their division to lose. Bill Callahan has done a pretty decent job installing the west coast offense as well as bringing back a semblance of the old black-shirt defensive toughness, which clearly they had lacked. I'd say that none of the other teams have more than an outside shot at dethroning them. I'll give Colorado a fair chance in a couple of years once Dan Hawkins has more of his own players in, but in the meantime, they will continue to suck. Iowa State, Missouri, and Kansas State will all hover at or slightly above the .500 mark. They all have decent players, so any one of them has the capability to rise up and knock off a ranked team, like the Wildcats did to Texas last year. Between these teams and Colorado, 2 of those 4 will make various bowls of dubious sponsorship. I'd throw Kansas in this same group except that Mark Mangino (sorry, no link here, this is a family blog) seems to have it a little more together over there. The next step for them should be a second place finish in the division this year and a berth in the Holiday Bowl. This would actually be a fairly major accomplishment for what is certainly more of a basketball school.

South - Oklahoma needs to find a capable replacement at QB. They haven't really had a good one since Heisman winner Jason White, who was not even drafted. Still, I will give them a slight edge over Texas (which, for the record, is not a true Southern state), as I think their coach and defense are better, and, for no reason whatsoever, I'll predict that Colt McCoy experiences a sophomore slump. Texas Tech should finish 3rd; their offense can just outscore enough of the opposition. Oklahoma State is decent, and could make a bowl. Baylor is still Baylor and is going nowhere. A&M is a trendy sleeper pick. I could actually see this happening, given their senior-laden O-line and the brick house that is Jorvorski Lane at RB. However, their QB and defensive play will probably be a little shaky, and their schedule is brutal. Honestly they could finish anywhere from 1st to 6th. I'll say Battery Acid Bowl.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Of Mutts and Men

Today I offer a few thoughts on the whole Michael Vick killing dogs situation. I'll do my best to keep it non-preachy. I forewarn, though, it's hard to keep this light.

- If Vick doesn't take a plea agreement then he's even dumber than I thought. From what I understand, he's being offered 1 year in prison and reduced charges. Against, supposedly, a mountain of evidence, and the testimony of his cohorts, who themselves will likely get more than a year in prison, despite being mostly pawns in Vick's game (financially speaking). If he refuses the deal it will be because of his pride and arrogance, and the Feds will go after him hard, and it probably won't end well. Then again, there's tons of precedence where celebrities and athletes get preferential treatment, and Vick's lawyers doubtless know this. So maybe he's smarter than I thought?

- As a Falcons fan, I expect and hope that his days in Atlanta are over. (And no, I don't look forward to the Harrington Era.) Completely independent of these latest allegations, I've never thought Vick was that great a QB. An extraordinarily gifted athlete? Yes, without question. He's probably one of the greatest of our generation. But his game seems much more suited for the college ranks, where outrunning everyone can compensate for an inability to accurately throw anything beyond 10 yards. For the NFL game, he's really a back or receiver that happens to have a strong arm. Not that those guys can't be successful, it's just usually at a position other than QB, even if that's what they happened to play in college. Like this guy. The Steelers /learned/their/lesson/the/hard/way. And, for the record, I tire of hearing the "Vick's never had any good WR's" statements, also. That's really just yet another invented argument to justify the endless hype machine. Falcons receivers were middle of the pack last year in drops, consistent with the past three years. Hardly cause for alarm.

- Having read and heard some of the accounts of what Vick did to those dogs--allegedly--I'll stop just barely short of calling him a despicable human being. I'm not by any means a PETA apologist, nor a vegatarian. I understand that the killing of animals for our sustenance goes on in droves everyday. I accept that, and it's within the law. What I don't accept is the senseless killing of animals in some sort of depraved and perverted form of entertainment. I'm glad to live in a country that rightly has laws prohibiting such actions.

- My thought on how the media is handling the situation is this: Media companies are, ultimately, just businesses out to make a dollar. They will report on and analyze that which they feel will bring the most in advertising revenue. Michael Vick has been, at various points in his career, both very marketable and very divisive--in other words, extremely media friendly. To a company like ESPN, he's great "journalistic" fodder, not unlike other celebrathletes they drool over. The extent to which the media is covering this story "fairly" will extend only to materially reporting the facts, as they are available, in an accurately and timely manner. To expect anything more from them is asking too much.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Separated at Birth: Brothers in Arms

Not only were Joaquin Phoenix and Jason Marquis separated at birth, they remain good friends to this day. In fact, occasionally they will fill in for each other, sometimes just for fun. Upon discovering this, the Rogue League sent an e-mail to both Joaquin and Jason, asking for a story of when they impersonated each other. Here now are their responses:

Jason: When Joaquin was filming Ladder 49, he asked me to fill in for him one day, after he had inhaled some smoke in one of the fire scenes. I had actually taken an acting class in high school, so I felt I was holding my own pretty well during the scenes. I guess my instincts got the best of me, though, as over lunch, I had the whole crew listening as I carefully explained baseball's balk rule. You probably know, this is a very difficult rule to understand, and I make it a priority to explain it properly to everyone I meet. The director (Jay Russell) started looking at me kind of funny. "How does an actor know so much about such a complex baseball rule," he asked. I was frozen. Luckily he was distracted by Morris Chestnut and I made a quick escape.

Joaquin: Just this year I pitched for Jason in St. Louis. He really didn't feel like going back there a second time, what with it being his old team and all. Well obviously I am an actor, not a pitcher. As you can tell from this Yahoo! box score, I got lit up, and I was not happy about it. After the game I asked Jim Edmonds to meet me out in the middle of the field. We both arrived, still in full uniform. He said he didn't really feel like talking to me, and turned to walk away. "How dare you turn your back to me," I said. "You will remove your helmet and tell me your name." But he kept walking, so I extended my left arm and slowly gave a thumbs down. Then a lion abruptly emerged from the bullpen and charged and devoured Jim whole. I told Jason about it later and he was kind of mad. Not because I had had a lion eat a person, but because other better outfielders would now get a chance to play for the Cardinals, who are of course, Jason's rival team.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Conference Preview: The Big East

Following the 2003 season, recruiting powerhouses Miami and Virginia Tech departed for the greener pastures of the ACC. Left with such football giants as Rutgers and Temple, the Big East quickly became a punchline in college football. Their 2004 conference champion (Pittsburgh) was thoroughly beaten like a red-headed stepchild in the Fiesta Bowl by a Mountain West school (Utah). Many people, myself included, called for the revocation of the Big East's BCS bowl rights. The conference also began to take on unfavorable nicknames, such as Big Least, Big Easy, and Big Feces Pile. These were dire straits for commissioner/mongoloid Mike Tranghese.

But since that debacle in Arizona, the Big East has done a fair job at resurrecting, as a pigeon rising from the ashes. Louisville joined the conference in 2005. The next year, they jettisoned Temple. So now the Big East reminds me more of a very cliched reference to a Clint Eastwood movie.

The Good: West Virginia, Louisville, Rutgers (Rutgers!), South Florida

West Virginia should be the favorites this year. They wisely gave coach Rich Rodriguez a contract extension so he wouldn't take the Falcons job (and Rich should be thanking God everyday he avoided that bullet). The Mountaineers return Heisman hopefuls Pat White at QB and Steve Slaton at tailback, and 7 starters on an above-average defensive unit.

However, the gap between West Virginia and the other 3 is not really all that large. Louisville made it's first ever BCS bowl last year and has established itself as a legitimate contender. Greg Schiano has basically worked miracles up in Piscataway. This is Rutgers we're talking about, people! Buttgers! They return a lot of starters too, including another Heisman hopeful at RB, Ray Rice. South Florida is a team that still seems to be sneaking up on people but shouldn't be anymore this year. They beat West Virginia on the road last year and won 9 games, including their first bowl game victory in their program's short 10-year history. Their coach, Jim Leavitt, is also really good.

The Bad: Cincinnati, Connecticut, Pittsburgh

I don't really have a whole lot to say about these guys. They suck, but at least one of them will manage a 6-6 record and make the Old Tires Bowl.

The Ugly: Syracuse

Paul Pasqualoni wasn't such a bad coach after all, was he Orange fans? He won 107 games from 1991 to 2004. However, many point to his inability to recruit Michael Vick as the crucial point leading to this program's downfall. Either way, it's sad face time for Mike Tirico. This team is truly awful. Things can only get better in 2007.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Two posts in one

I'll begin my preview of college football conferences tomorrow. For now though, I offer two posts in one. Neither is really big/important enough to make into one post by itself, so I roll them into one.

Congratulations to Bobby Cox

Tonight, Bobby Cox was ejected for the 132nd time in his career, breaking Tug McGraw's record for most ejections. It happened after the 3rd out in the bottom of the 5th, after Chipper Jones had been called out on strikes on a ball that was clearly three inches inside. Fortunately, the ultimate outcome of the game was not affected, as the Braves won 5-4 in the bottom of the 9th, coincidentally on a game-winning single by Chipper.

Why do I congratulate this accomplishment? Well for one, as a Braves fan, I appreciate that Bobby Cox always has his players back. There have definitely been players that he hasn't been particularly fond of, but he will still always go to bat for them, and will never back down in an argument. Plus, while not quite on par with some other meltdowns, some of his tirades are very entertaining.

Pepsi, you are terrible

What is this, Pepsi? Has it really come to this? Have you thrown the towel so far into the advertising ring? Your most recent excuse for an ad campaign features a chorus of yawns?? I mean, I don't even know where to begin with this. There's a reason people generally both cover their mouths and suppress the sound when yawning. Because IT'S ANNOYING! And yet, in a true stroke of what will one day go down as sheer marketing genius, you take to filming people imitating this annoyance (and some imitating it very poorly, I might add), and turn it into a full-blown orchestral masterpiece of marketing. A congratulations to you as well, Pepsi Co. You shall not receive another penny from me until this reckless assault on the television-viewing public ceases.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Everyday really should be Saturday

I am somewhat torn on the existence of preseason polls. On the one hand, given that the final polls ultimately determine the National Champion, the idea that some teams are given preferential ranking even before taking the field seems a rather unfair advantage. On the other hand, they make good business sense, as early games can be more easily marketed and arguably achieve higher ratings because a game is billed as a "Top 10 Matchup," for example, when it otherwise couldn't have been. And since this is, after all, a business, preseason polls are probably here to stay.

So, accepting the necessary evil that they are, I offer a preseason rankings of my own. I'll be updating my Top 25 during the season every Monday after the week's action. In later posts I'll offer previews for each of the six BCS conferences, the Mountain West (because I attended a MWC school), and Temple.

Preseason Top 25 (with 2006 record):

1 USC (11-2)
2 LSU (11-2)
3 Florida (13-1)
4 Virginia Tech (10-3)
5 Texas (10-3)
6 West Virginia (11-2)
7 Oklahoma (11-3)
8 Rutgers (11-2)
9 Louisville (12-1)
10 California (10-3)
11 Wisconsin (12-1)
12 Boise State (13-0)
13 Nebrask (9-5)
14 Michigan (11-2)
15 Georgia Tech (9-5)
16 Ohio State (12-1)
17 Georgia (9-4)
18 Florida St. (7-6)
19 Tennessee (9-4)
20 UCLA (7-6)
21 TCU (11-2)
22 South Florida (9-4)
23 Arizona (6-6)
24 BYU (11-2)
25 Auburn (11-2)

Yeah, I can't believe I have three Big Least teams in the Top 10 either.

By the way, the post title is a reference to the greatest college football blog ever. It's listed in my links to other blogs. If you've never visited, you should. Like right now would be a good time.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Top 10 Songs

In response to this post by nghiupo over at My Top 10, I offer my own list of the 10 greatest songs of all time. In my quest for greatness, I attempted to weigh my opinions of the song's distinguishing factors, including popularity, uniqueness, and influence. I welcome the verbal pummelings I'm sure to receive over what others may deem a questionable selection.

Here we go:

10 > One (Metallica)
9 > Mr. Brightside (The Killers)
8 > Paint It Black (The Rolling Stones)
7 > Paranoid (Black Sabbath)
6 > Black (Pearl Jam)
5 > Don't Speak (No Doubt)
4 > I Walk the Line (Johnny Cash)
3 > Tonight, Tonight (Smashing Pumpkins)
2 > Layla (Derek and the Dominoes)
1 > Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)

Barely missing the cut: Ruben Studdard. Sorry. 2004.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

We all want something beautiful

I'll do my much-anticipated top 10 songs of all time post tomorrow (hopefully), but tonight I give you another edition of strange separations at birth. And let's just not deny it anymore people, ok? Counting Crows' singer Adam Duritz has a twin, and his name is Rowlf. Here's your evidence:

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Our Long National Nightmare Is Finally Over

ESPN, please consider this your invitation to remove yourselves from Barry Bonds' butt and once again take up residence in Bristol, Connecticut.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Waiting to Exhale

Let me tell you, I've been waiting *all weekend* for this, and only one question has been on my mind: WHO'S NOW? Do it, lemme hear ya say, big things poppin', sportscenta' rockin', who's now, do it (hey, hey)...

In a shocking turn of events, the most nowy of athletes is Tiger Woods. He had this to say upon winning

"As a huge fan of ESPN, this is an honor. They always come up with cool new content. I'd like to thank all the fans who took the time to vote for me."

And I'd like to point out that Tiger did not actually say that this particular "new content" was, in fact, cool. So +1 to Tiger for intelligent wordsmithing.

Finally, I'd like to take a minute to publicly question why Michael Wilbon, a highly respected journalist for many years, would stoop to working on the "panel of judges" for this garbage. Mr. Wilbon, I await your response.

p.s. If you haven't seen it yet, Mighty MJD has a great spoof on this here.