Movie Preview: The Happening

The writer-director of The Sixth Sense and Signs brings you his first R-rated film.

That's the tagline for the new "thriller" The Happening. And really, that's all you need to know.

M. Night Shayamalan is trying once again to fool the public into thinking he actually makes good movies. And to be honest, he once did. I really liked both Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense. But after those, his movies have slowly gone from intriguing to boring to just plain dumb. Signs was o.k. I guess, but I wouldn't see it again. The Village was an outright joke. If you've not seen it, I won't spoil the "twist," but just be prepared to be extremely disappointed when you see it. To be fair, I've not seen Lady In The Water, but I don't know a single person that has seen it that liked it.

The public has slowly grown to groan at the mention of an M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie. Undoubtedly, Mr. Shipoopi was aware of this, and needed some kind of gimmick to get people to watch his movies again. "Wait, what if I put in more gore, and a few F-bombs? That's sure to get those 14-to-18 year-olds that, 1) will watch anything, and 2) aren't yet completely soured on my utter lack of ingenuity." And there you go, his new flick is rated R, and, I have no doubt, will suck royally.

Prediction: 3/10

movie forecast: vantage point

vantage point centers on one major event, which is told from the perspective of 8 different characters. the audience is then left to determine which perspectives are the most believable and try to find the truth. in the case of this movie, the major event is an attempted assassination of the president. what we the audience are to figure out is who did the killing, if in fact the killing occurred.

i might be in the minority on this one, but this film just strikes me as one huge, crappy gimmick. not that i necessarily demand artistic excellence to like a film, nor would i necessarily even recognize it. but to subject the audience to an endless puzzle of questions which can't be solved definitively until the end of the movie seems kind of tiresome. absent just making a lucky guess, is there any way you can figure this movie out before it's over? even if you can, why would i want to go to the theater just to have to be encyclopedia brown for 2 hours? i'm not against mystery in a movie, i just think it should only be one element, of an actual plot, not the entire substance of a movie. furthermore, given the nature of this film, it will be extremely low on the rewatchability scale.

prediction: 4/10

Movie Preview: Good Luck Chuck

editor's note: for more information on this idea that i completely stole, click here

here is dane cook's latest assault on the american public. (THERE'S ONLY ONE OCTOBER!) the early commercials for this movie left me somewhat confused, as in, i wasn't sure if i was seeing a preview for an actual movie or old clips of the three stooges. i mean, i like physical comedy as much as the next guy, but it looked like it was going to be 90 minutes of just that. but it's like, actual words are good too, y'know? however, the latest commercials suggest some token semblance of a plot, like perhaps cook's character has to learn some valuable life lesson before he can get the girl, or something. ultimately, this is more or less just a vehicle for dane's tired/lifted jokes and an excuse to get jessica alba on the big screen. not that the latter is necessarily a bad thing, though.

prediction: 5/10

Movie Preview: 3:10 to Yuma

editor's note: for detailed info on this idea that i completely stole, click this

this may come as a surprise to some, but i really enjoy a good western movie. tombstone is my favorite so far, and now this new one (actually a remake) looks very promising. it stars two very good, capable actors in christian bale and russell crowe. bale has helped resurrect a dying franchise, and crowe somehow made a movie about 19th century sailors actually entertaining (i mean, i've actually even seen it more than once). so i have much faith that these guys can pull this off. since it's a remake, there's at least some plot to it. else they wouldn't make it again, right? anyway, this will be a really good movie. and i am done.
prediction: 9/10