ESPN will cram Monday Night Football down your throat and you will like it

ESPN is using the same advertising scheme to pitch Monday Night Football this year as they did last year. That is to say, showing various shots of people humming or scatting or making any other various noises with their mouths to mimic the MNF theme. Don't be fooled by the fact that this year it's real NFL players and media types that appear in these spots as opposed to last year's "everyman" ads. It's all the same crap:



Do you know how many dentists are humming the MNF theme while working on your mouth? Zero, that's how many. There are also no security guards sitting in their guard shack rocking out and whistling the MNF theme like a total dork. There are no dudes pushing one out in a stall, reaching for some t.p., audibly letting their affection for Monday nights be known. There's nobody in a cubicle propping his feet up, scatting and beboping the MNF theme while somehow completely overcome with impatience for that night's game between the Packers and Titans. And there are *most certainly* no actual NFL players lifting weights, running sprints, or doing whatever else they do, trying to get that last note just right.

As much as it may pain ESPN to hear this, Monday Night Football is simply not the franchise it once was. The fact that it moved from network TV to cable pretty much underscores that fact. No amount of endless marketing and hype and special 4-hour editions of SportsCenter will bring it back. Sunday Night in America has become the new MNF. That's where the big-name big-money broadcasters are. That's also where the corporate advertising dollars are. That's even where they have the ability to actually change what game they'll show based on potential playoff implication. And similarly, no amount of P!nk, despite how awful she is, will change this fact.

No, ESPN, people don't count down the days until Monday. People have never done this, and they never will. So let's just be realistic about this, ok? Has Loverboy taught you nothing?

Two posts in one

I'll begin my preview of college football conferences tomorrow. For now though, I offer two posts in one. Neither is really big/important enough to make into one post by itself, so I roll them into one.

Congratulations to Bobby Cox

Tonight, Bobby Cox was ejected for the 132nd time in his career, breaking Tug McGraw's record for most ejections. It happened after the 3rd out in the bottom of the 5th, after Chipper Jones had been called out on strikes on a ball that was clearly three inches inside. Fortunately, the ultimate outcome of the game was not affected, as the Braves won 5-4 in the bottom of the 9th, coincidentally on a game-winning single by Chipper.

Why do I congratulate this accomplishment? Well for one, as a Braves fan, I appreciate that Bobby Cox always has his players back. There have definitely been players that he hasn't been particularly fond of, but he will still always go to bat for them, and will never back down in an argument. Plus, while not quite on par with some other meltdowns, some of his tirades are very entertaining.

Pepsi, you are terrible

What is this, Pepsi? Has it really come to this? Have you thrown the towel so far into the advertising ring? Your most recent excuse for an ad campaign features a chorus of yawns?? I mean, I don't even know where to begin with this. There's a reason people generally both cover their mouths and suppress the sound when yawning. Because IT'S ANNOYING! And yet, in a true stroke of what will one day go down as sheer marketing genius, you take to filming people imitating this annoyance (and some imitating it very poorly, I might add), and turn it into a full-blown orchestral masterpiece of marketing. A congratulations to you as well, Pepsi Co. You shall not receive another penny from me until this reckless assault on the television-viewing public ceases.