Separated at Birth: Dari Nowkhah and Shia Labeouf

On a recent episode of the "Budweiser Hot Seat," SportsCenter anchor Dari Nowkhah interviewed actor Shia Labeouf to promote his upcoming film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Dari, who was not familiar with his interviewee, was given a card with three questions to ask Shia, after which he was to put on a brown cowboy hat and tell the audience at home to go see the new movie. What follows below is a transcript from this as-yet-unaired episode of the "Hot Seat."

Dari: We welcome now into the studio, a very talented actor, Shia Labeouf, of the Transformers and most recently the new Indiana Jones movie. Shia, you are now on... The Budweiser Hot Seat. Are you ready?

Shia: Uh, yes, I'm ready.

Dari: (Turns to face Shia) Ok, now Shia... Hey, what the? A mirror match??? IS THIS WHAT WE GOT????

Shia: I'm sorry, I don't understand. Mirror--

Dari: HAHM-DI-NAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Shia: I.. I just... I was told you'd ask me about the Red Sox or something.

Dari: RAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! OOOOooooOOOoooOOOOO!!!!!! (Bites head off nearby chicken)

Shia: Oh no...

At this point, ESPN turned off the cameras, while Dari ripped off his shirt and began running around the set like a madman. He was shot with a horse tranquilizer gun and later woke up mumbling Linda Cohn's name. The moral of the story: Do not confuse Dari Nowkhah.

separated at birth

Few people know that the late actor Alan Hale and sports broadcaster Jon Miller were good friends growing up. The younger Jon aspired to become a Hollywood star one day. He hoped to land a leading role in some sort of situational comedy about seven people that, after a transportation mishap, became stranded on an island (when you think about those circumstances, it makes you wonder how that was ever pitched as a comedy). The older Alan dreamt in his boyhood of one day becoming a famous baseball announcer alongside one of the greatest second-basemen to ever play the game. As it turned out, these friends ended up living out each other's dreams, though it worked well for each. Said Alan one day in 1989, "Jonny told me that he and Joe Morgan are going to start a new weekly baseball thing next year on Sunday nights. I told him good luck with it and to check out this blog so he knows exactly what to expect from the little buddy." Miller responded, "I'm privileged with the chance ESPN has given me. I hope to carry on Alan's legacy by getting Peter Gammons hopelessly stranded in Yankee Stadium one day."

separated at birth

many people may not realize that pittsburgh penguins center sidney crosby and actor tom welling are actually long lost brothers. welling, likely best known for his role as nick castle in the fog, has recently given crosby advice on how to quickly recover from his recent ankle injury: "imagine a healthy hockey player, what he would feel like, what he would move like, what he would act like. and then, you be that player. study the role densely and you can be it." sidney expressed confusion at this advice but continues his rehab. he also said that he wouldn't feel like a good brother if he didn't offer his own piece of advice for tom: "smallville sucks."

separated at birth?

saint joseph's head basketball coach phil martelli has actually been mistaken for a bald eagle several times in his life. the most recent occurrence was at a national zoo exhibit in washington, d.c., where he was visiting with his family. while standing outside a giant cage admiring a majestic eagle perched atop a pole, martelli was startled by some other visitors that were trying to get a picture with him. "look at this, one of them's out of his cage. honey quick get a picture with me and him," said one visitor. martelli stood by confused but obliged the happy visitors with various photos. "he even understands english. this is amazing," the visitor added. when martelli was later informed that he had, once again, been mistaken for our national bird, he only shook his head, then devoured a raw fish.

separated at birth

when recently informed of their separated at birth status, both new york knicks forward zack randolph and actor djimon hounsou said they were surprised. i actually don't know how this could even be possible after looking at photos of them side-by-side. but anyway, each sent an e-mail to the rogue league responding to this story:

"i would like to thank the academy for this honor. for years, my work went largely unrecognized, and i wondered if ever i would get my big break. i now know my supporters are many." - d.h.

after i informed djimon that he had not in fact won an oscar, but instead had simply been linked biologically to zack randolph, he expressed disappointment.

"i figured that if i never left portland for a bigger market, i would toil in anonymity, and would ultimately become a great player forgotten. and now being in new york has helped me to win this, my first Most Valuable Player award. thank you everyone." - Z

i'm not sure how my message was once again confused, but again i was forced to be the bearer of bad news, to which zack responded that he wanted to be traded.

separated at birth

north carolina big man tyler hansbrough and actor michael cera both expressed no surprise when they were recently informed of their separated at birth status. the two are actually far more similar than you might think. the rogue league sat down with each for a short interview.

rogue league: michael, what sport do you enjoy most?
michael cera: probably basketball... like, i can use my size to my advantage, clear people out and get rebounds and stuff. i'm an ok shooter too.
RL: what was your least favorite moment on the court?
cera: there was this pick up game last year. it was late and we already had the game in hand. then during a missed free throw, some thug smashed my face with his elbow for no reason. there was a copious amount of blood on the floor. i felt fine later, but the thing that bothered me the most was there was some loudmouth in the park across the street that kept saying the hit wasn't intentional.
RL: have you ever thought of leaving early?
cera: yeah, like, i know that's where the money is. but at the same time, i can still really develop and have a lot to learn. but yeah, if i left early to direct, i think i would do well. i would probably be terrible at first with really bad stats but eventually i'd get the hang of it.
---
rogue league: what is your biggest pet peeve?
tyler hansbrough: probably when people meet my girlfriend. they're always saying "her?" and i'm like "yeah, her, what's your problem?" even my dad, he's probably met her like 20 times, and each time he's always like "oh, who's this?" then he gets her name wrong and calls her something like plant or hog. it's frustrating.
RL: that's a very interesting story. moving on, what is your favorite food?
hansbrough: without question, a hard-boiled egg with mayonnaise in the mouth. mmmmm....
RL: we just call it an egg.
hansbrough: ...
RL: i've heard your career here might only last three seasons. do you think that's too short?
hansbrough: yeah probably. we've got a really good thing going here. and yet, they just don't market us well enough. sometimes we're rescheduled and run up against monday night football or something. but who knows, maybe we'll make a movie.

Separated at Birth: Brothers in Arms

Not only were Joaquin Phoenix and Jason Marquis separated at birth, they remain good friends to this day. In fact, occasionally they will fill in for each other, sometimes just for fun. Upon discovering this, the Rogue League sent an e-mail to both Joaquin and Jason, asking for a story of when they impersonated each other. Here now are their responses:

Jason: When Joaquin was filming Ladder 49, he asked me to fill in for him one day, after he had inhaled some smoke in one of the fire scenes. I had actually taken an acting class in high school, so I felt I was holding my own pretty well during the scenes. I guess my instincts got the best of me, though, as over lunch, I had the whole crew listening as I carefully explained baseball's balk rule. You probably know, this is a very difficult rule to understand, and I make it a priority to explain it properly to everyone I meet. The director (Jay Russell) started looking at me kind of funny. "How does an actor know so much about such a complex baseball rule," he asked. I was frozen. Luckily he was distracted by Morris Chestnut and I made a quick escape.

Joaquin: Just this year I pitched for Jason in St. Louis. He really didn't feel like going back there a second time, what with it being his old team and all. Well obviously I am an actor, not a pitcher. As you can tell from this Yahoo! box score, I got lit up, and I was not happy about it. After the game I asked Jim Edmonds to meet me out in the middle of the field. We both arrived, still in full uniform. He said he didn't really feel like talking to me, and turned to walk away. "How dare you turn your back to me," I said. "You will remove your helmet and tell me your name." But he kept walking, so I extended my left arm and slowly gave a thumbs down. Then a lion abruptly emerged from the bullpen and charged and devoured Jim whole. I told Jason about it later and he was kind of mad. Not because I had had a lion eat a person, but because other better outfielders would now get a chance to play for the Cardinals, who are of course, Jason's rival team.

We all want something beautiful

I'll do my much-anticipated top 10 songs of all time post tomorrow (hopefully), but tonight I give you another edition of strange separations at birth. And let's just not deny it anymore people, ok? Counting Crows' singer Adam Duritz has a twin, and his name is Rowlf. Here's your evidence:

You tell me these two weren't separated at birth