super bowl xlii preview

to be honest, i am not very pumped up for this matchup. hopefully i am wrong, but i have a sinking feeling that the patriots are just going to rout the giants in this game. had the game been played last weekend, i might have picked the giants. but since they have to have a long layoff, much like the rockies before the world series, i think they will be more rusty than resty. plus, now that we learned the patriots taped the rams walkthrough before super bowl 36, maybe they did the same thing yesterday, making it that much tougher for the giants to win. seriously, these patriots spies are as easy to spot as sylvester stallone in the specialist. i mean what was that one scene about where he's staring at eric roberts in the limo? he's looking right at him. he didn't try to hide. throughout the whole movie he keeps getting seen. wasn't he supposed to be more covert? what is he a specialist at anyway? being conspicuous? ok anyway yeah this game is going to suck. i also have my doubts for the halftime show being any good. i actually like tom petty more than the average person in my demographic, but i'm not sure that free ballin' is really going to cut it. hopefully the commercials will be good though. prediction: patriots 48-21.

nfl wildcard weekend preview and review

with the playoff season finally here, and with my awful fantasy football season in the past, i can now watch football without concern for jay cutler's skiddishness or lawrence maroney's lack of carries (thanks, belicheck. jerk.) so i shall now take to writing previews and reviews of each weekend's hot playoff action. first up are the wildcard games. check back here after the games for reviews. like a chia pet, this post will grow.

washington at seattle

preview: the seahawks are both a better team than the redskins and are at home. these will be too big of obstacles for washington to overcome. mike holmgren ditched the run for a while and the passing game got in sync, and now lately shaun alexander has resumed a respectable running game. their offensive weapons will be too much for washington's average defense. prediction: 24-7 c-hawks

review: after looking positively catatonic for 3 quarters, the redskins suddenly got off the mat for about 5 minutes and took a brief 14-13 lead. then the missed field goal probably took away some momentum, and then todd collins really took away the momentum. and i'm done talking about this one. 35-14 seahawks

jacksonville at pittsburgh

preview: jacksonville won what many (myself included) believe was a landmark game for their franchise 3 weeks ago in pittsburgh. they proved they could win a tough road game they "weren't supposed to win" and shook off that pesky label of being "mentally weak." they also proved, yet again, that mother nature does not put on a uniform for the home team (i can hear happy ninja rolling in his grave right now). of course, the jaguars were rewarded for that victory by...having to play in pittsburgh again. since their previous matchup, the jaguars have done nothing to make me believe in them less, and the steelers have done nothing to make me believe in them more. plus now pittsburgh's really in deep doodoo without willie parker. i expect the jaguars to have lots of confidence going into this game and for them to intercept roethlisberger at least 3 times, from which i will derive much more enjoyment than i probably should. prediction: 26-14 jags

review: after completely dominating for about 3 quarters, the jaguars found ways to let the steelers back in the game, nearly losing in the process. this propensity to blow leads doesn't give me much confidence in their upcoming matchup versus the patriots. anyway, the play of the game obviously was david garrard's run on 4th and 2, which was a great call by jack del rio. 31-29 jaguars

ny giants at tampa bay

preview: last week's effort versus the patriots had to be inspiring for giants fans. i think they gave new england a much better fight than the buccaneers would have. indeed, the giants are my sleeper pick to make the super bowl from the nfc. in this game, their main difficulty is just the fact that it's on the road. but the giants were 7-1 on the road this year, and they are the better team here. they've also played a tougher schedule in a stronger division, so i think they're more prepared in that way. while i'm aware of jeff garcia's success against the giants in the postseason, i'll take new york in a close one. prediction: 24-17 giants

review: eli manning wins his first playoff game which sets up a re-rematch with the cowboys. the giants front four was able to consistently get pressure on jeff garcia and hurry him into some bad throws. the general lack of an offense on the bucaneers part was exposed, while eli manning played very well versus a tough bucs pass defense. actually if i had to take either manning or phillip rivers right now, i'd say eli is the better quarterback. 24-14 giants

titans at chargers

preview: since this game is in san diego, and given the chargers great home record recently, they are the safe bet to win this game. but there are a few things that make me think the titans can pull the upset: 1) vince young might not play. as happy ninja once accurately stated, no team hides its quarterback more effectively than tennessee. strange as it sounds, kerry collins gives them a better chance to win. 2) the titans should've won their regular season matchup but gave the game away late. 3) norv turner is the chargers coach. this shouldn't need any further explanation. 4) steroidface's lights out dance looks stupid and his doing it will cause all his teammates to be sad and play worse. despite these facts, i'll still pick the chargers. prediction: 28-10 san diego

review: somehow norv turner both won this game and managed to keep his pants on. for the entire first half, i was certain the titans would pull off the upset. then, as the game went on, i remembered just how horrible their offense is, and just how good ladainian tomlinson is. this puts a damper on my previous prediction that the chargers would hire pete carroll in the offseason. 17-6 chargers

bobby petrino officially resigns 3 months after unofficially resigning

do you want to know how to make the best of a bad situation? don't ask bobby petrino. he'll just quit on you and then inexplicably hate you. bobby, you'll be missed about as much as jeff george was, which was not at all.

go away

Goodell: I am the law

Another smackdown has been given by Roger Goodell. Bill Belicheck was fined $500,000 for videogate or spygate or spy game or whatever it's being called now. Interestingly, the Patriots themselves were fined "only" half that amount. Also, the Pats will lose either their 1st round pick if they make the playoffs or their 2nd and 3rd round picks if they miss the playoffs.

My take on this: Good call, and message sent. Say what you will about his vigilante style, but Roger Goodell means business. He's doing his best to take the riff raff and cheating out of the NFL, and he is showing no favoritism whatsoever, as evidenced by this punishment to arguably America's favorite NFL team.

There are those that may say the videotaping had no effect on whether or not the Patriots won games, or that they're "just trying to get a competitive edge," or "if you're not cheating you're not trying." All of those statements may very well be true. The fact remains that the Patriots cheated and attempted to gain an illegal advantage. The NFL's stance has to be either that this is ok or that this is not ok. If it's the latter, then they have to be penalized. Goodell is also within his rights to make sure the other teams understand this, i.e. make an example of them via stiff penalty. If the Patriots had not already been warned about this last year in Green Bay, I would agree with those that say the penalty is too severe. But as it is, they can't claim ignorance, as Belicheck attempted to do in his statement today, and I believe their punishment is fair.

ESPN will cram Monday Night Football down your throat and you will like it

ESPN is using the same advertising scheme to pitch Monday Night Football this year as they did last year. That is to say, showing various shots of people humming or scatting or making any other various noises with their mouths to mimic the MNF theme. Don't be fooled by the fact that this year it's real NFL players and media types that appear in these spots as opposed to last year's "everyman" ads. It's all the same crap:



Do you know how many dentists are humming the MNF theme while working on your mouth? Zero, that's how many. There are also no security guards sitting in their guard shack rocking out and whistling the MNF theme like a total dork. There are no dudes pushing one out in a stall, reaching for some t.p., audibly letting their affection for Monday nights be known. There's nobody in a cubicle propping his feet up, scatting and beboping the MNF theme while somehow completely overcome with impatience for that night's game between the Packers and Titans. And there are *most certainly* no actual NFL players lifting weights, running sprints, or doing whatever else they do, trying to get that last note just right.

As much as it may pain ESPN to hear this, Monday Night Football is simply not the franchise it once was. The fact that it moved from network TV to cable pretty much underscores that fact. No amount of endless marketing and hype and special 4-hour editions of SportsCenter will bring it back. Sunday Night in America has become the new MNF. That's where the big-name big-money broadcasters are. That's also where the corporate advertising dollars are. That's even where they have the ability to actually change what game they'll show based on potential playoff implication. And similarly, no amount of P!nk, despite how awful she is, will change this fact.

No, ESPN, people don't count down the days until Monday. People have never done this, and they never will. So let's just be realistic about this, ok? Has Loverboy taught you nothing?